The Person!!!!!

Posted by Harvey C in 100wc | Tagged | 4 Comments

The person that I saw was weird and dark so, I walked up to them and asked if they were ok, but in a deep voice she or he said ‘no, ‘.

I had my friends next to me and one of them went home, then I thought  ‘Who ever they are they should not be in my back garden . So first I tried to say ‘ Go  away ,’ but it did not move so then another friend went home and after that I was tempted to go tell my mum and dad.

But I thought if we were afraid he or she would come back, they could just be a teenager  trying to be funny to his friends. So I was not scared but then they started to take off their hood and I saw it was a….

  • He was green.
  • It was a he.
  • He was bold.
  • He looked a bit like this but he was bold.                                                                                                                           .  

4 responses to “The Person!!!!!”

  1. Nelinda Crider says:

    Hi Harvey
    A really enjoyable read . Well done and greetings from USA.

  2. andrew paterson says:

    Hi Harvey,
    I am Andrew writing from Greenville South Carolina. I really enjoyed your piece. I have read some of your previous work but this was your best effort so far.

  3. Joseph says:

    Hi Harvey my name is Joseph for Tirlebrook Primary School in Gloucestershire. I really liked your 100 Word Challenge, especially the ending. Please comment back on mine here’s a link: click here.

  4. Mrs Addleton says:

    Harvey,
    Your story was full of twists and turns and I could really sense your characters indecision as to whether this figure was friend or foe! I thought I had got to the end of your blog at the … (ellipsis) moment and personally think this would have made the perfect cliffhanger ending.

    You have made good use of paragraphs to break up your blog and it is lovely to see that you have taken on board previous comments and thought more about your punctuation for example, using capital letters, full stops, and trying to use commas to break up your sentences not to mention using direct speech. I know you love homophones – check out ‘bold’ and ‘bald’ which sound the same but have different meanings.

    Keep blogging!
    Mrs Addleton
    2hp

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *