So today I saw an …. OGER ahhhh that was neighbours their scared of every thing once I dropped my pet tarantula and they called the police anyway there’s an ogre living next to me . nee nor nee nor that was the ambulance she probably fainted . ok what should I do about the OGER living next door to them and that’s the neighbours . Aha I have a plan instead of this place smelling like a stink bomb just air freshener and I mean lots of it actually that’s to much money lets think of something cheaper maybe we can bath him.
OGER NEXT DOOR!
Posted by in Learning
2 Comments
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Hi Ashlie,
I really like the way you have tried to use onomatopoeia in your writing, particularly in the opening and second line when you gave us the sounds before you told us who and why they were making them – this made me want to keep reading. I also like the way you have written the blog so it feels like we are inside your head listening to all your ideas which are rushing in. Check your spelling of ogre – if you put oger it will sound like ojer because an ‘e’ after a ‘g’ makes the sound of a ‘j’ I wonder how you would bath an ogre? Maybe in a swimming pool?
2HP
Mrs Addleton
Hi Ashlie,
I really enjoy the way this is like eavesdropping in on your internal dialogue to try and sort out this ogre. You have done well to include some onomatopoeia – I especially like the way you used the sound of ambulance before explaining why it might have been called. I think you could double check for full stops, capital letters and question marks but otherwise it was super fun to read.
2HP
Mrs Addleton