the big race

Posted by Layla P in 100wc | 2 Comments

It was nearly the day for the race hallie said to herself she was worried  she went to school . the race was at night time .after school she went home she got dressed she jumped in the car she was exited they made it .it was nearly her turn . hallie your  turn she was against the fastest girl brooke . get ready set go .hallie w as running as fast as she ever ran before so was brooke she ran but brooke was not making progress then Hallie touched the finish line she had got to the finish line yes whoo .

2 responses to “the big race”

  1. Mrs Dibben says:

    Hello Layla,

    This is a very fast moving blog. I wonder how Hallie over took Brooke? Did Brooke stumble or fall?

  2. Mrs Addleton says:

    My goodness Layla, is this your second blog this week? This sounds like a very exciting race, perhaps Hallie had longer legs that helped her beat Brooke. To improve your blog, make sure your sentences start with capital letters and some commas might make it easier to read.
    I loved the enthusiasm you put into your blogs this week and I can’t wait to read more from you.
    2 house points,
    Mrs Addleton

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