Once upon a time, in a place far, lived a girl. Her name was Charlotte . She lived in a circus with her mum and dad. She loved the circus so much that they got a tiger. They called her Mya. She was very friendly . But, a bit vicious . She always hides behind one of the rides. Then one day, Mya got stuck . She was very angry. She is in a old fashioned lift . Then we fell down . There was an massive hole in the wall . But, the tiger was blocking our escape. They were stuck . Then, they found way out . They found a escape .
Mya the tiger
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6 Comments
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Hello Grace,
Thank you for posting a fascinating story about Charlotte and her Tiger Mya. I agree with the observations posted by Mrs Addleton that the use of some longer sentences would help to make your story flow better for the reader. If you take time to carefully read through your work before posting it, you will spot errors and have time to correct them. Nevertheless, you have posted an intriguing story with lots of suspense. Well done Grace.
I really enjoyed your first blog Grace. I know a very tiny, quiet girl called Mya so I immediately thought of her when you told us the tiger’s name. I’m glad you described your tiger so that I could get a quite different picture in my head!
Hello Grace,
A great first blog. I love the way you have used almost contradictory adjectives to give a clear impression of your tigers personality.
I look forward to reading your future blogs,
hi grace it’s Charlie great story I love the tiger idea 🙂
Hi Grace
I like the way you used the word vicious. But do you think you can do some more adjectives ( you only used 2 or 3.)
I hope you do another blog
From William
Grace,
WOW, your first ever blog! I loved your idea of a little girl living in a circus – what a fascinating life that would be. You used lots of very short sentences which was useful for building tension towards the end of your blog. At the start, when you didn’t need tension, perhaps you could improve the flow of your story with longer sentences, maybe using some conjunctions.
Well done Grace, I know that you were super excited to publish for the first time and I really look forward to reading more of your 100wc blogs.
1house point
Mrs Addleton