Polluting our air once again(-Part 2)
Posted by in 100wc, Learning
2 Comments
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Greetings from Australia Demi. Congratulations on your response to this week’s challenge. I like the way you have woven the issue of pollution into a personal recount about finding a puppy. It is a clever way of educating readers in an informal way. Your text is well written, making use of author’s devices, and a variety of punctuation marks. Well done!
My goodness Demi, this has got everything in it: inverted commas, onomatopoeia, paragraphs, eclipses and a host of punctuation! I love the vocabulary you have chosen to replace the word said. I also like your selection of adjectives, particularly the way the dishes ‘reeked’ and how you compared this toxic air to the air quality outside which should be fresh air!
Make sure you check for capital I instead of i when you are talking in the first person – the blog doesn’t autocorrect it like Word does.
Now, if you go on http://www.100wc.net, scroll down below the chimney photo and click on the blue font that says ‘continue reading’ it will bring up a list of all the entries. You can arrange the list in alphabetical order of schools by clicking on the blue arrow next to the heading ‘school’. If you click it twice it will bring Wildground to the top where you can see yours and Elise’s links. Fingers crossed you will get some comments from the 100wc community.
Brilliant work Demi,
Another 5 raffle tickets – maybe I need to warn Miss Niger to by another book of tickets!
Mrs Addleton