Polluting our air once again(-Part 2)

Posted by Demi in 100wc, Learning | 2 Comments

“You saw NOTHING! I barked, swooshing away so he didnt see the poor, puppy. I ran to the kitchen, and ducked under the window infront of the sink full of dirty plates. Ohh how it reaked with this HORRIBLE smell, not even horrible, more than that!

In the garden it smelt the exact same, but worse! How could mum even survive out here? It was like toxic smoke in the air mixed with a pile of toxin.”Gross, what is that smell, cough cough !” I managed to say before almost tripping over my own feet, “ohhh whoaoao thump owch!” I said as i fell over, as i had amagined i would. That caught mums attention,now was my chance.

Mum gasped in shock “Sweetie, are you alright!” I was speachless, I didnt know what to say, I just layed there with my freshly grazed knee fasing the ground. I turned to look at the old power station and i felt that tingle down my spine again.

“Umm…yes m-m-mo-moth-ther,” I stammered akwardly “…I…umm found this puppy, on the street…near the old factory…he was all alone with no collor or owner. I was…uhh…wondering if we could keep him…maybe…please.He has no owner i SWEAR!”

2 responses to “Polluting our air once again(-Part 2)”

  1. Mrswills1 says:

    Greetings from Australia Demi. Congratulations on your response to this week’s challenge. I like the way you have woven the issue of pollution into a personal recount about finding a puppy. It is a clever way of educating readers in an informal way. Your text is well written, making use of author’s devices, and a variety of punctuation marks. Well done!

  2. Mrs Addleton says:

    My goodness Demi, this has got everything in it: inverted commas, onomatopoeia, paragraphs, eclipses and a host of punctuation! I love the vocabulary you have chosen to replace the word said. I also like your selection of adjectives, particularly the way the dishes ‘reeked’ and how you compared this toxic air to the air quality outside which should be fresh air!
    Make sure you check for capital I instead of i when you are talking in the first person – the blog doesn’t autocorrect it like Word does.
    Now, if you go on http://www.100wc.net, scroll down below the chimney photo and click on the blue font that says ‘continue reading’ it will bring up a list of all the entries. You can arrange the list in alphabetical order of schools by clicking on the blue arrow next to the heading ‘school’. If you click it twice it will bring Wildground to the top where you can see yours and Elise’s links. Fingers crossed you will get some comments from the 100wc community.
    Brilliant work Demi,
    Another 5 raffle tickets – maybe I need to warn Miss Niger to by another book of tickets!
    Mrs Addleton

Leave a Reply

Your e-mail address will not be published. Required fields are marked *