One lonely day lived a man could Diece and he wanted a good home that would welcome him if he went on a business trip or help him cook. Dieces home now is just a wreck hes got 6 sisters and 4 brothers. He told his mum that he wanted to move out and his mum responded “Fine but you have to take a brother. With ten children to look after is mayhem!” Diece accepted the deal and he took his favorite brother Jacky. His mum rented a apartment a few blocks away.
Deice bought some furniture and moved in with Jacky. They both had a room each with a kitchen and a living room.They were happy with there new life but something was missing somthing that could end the world…
To be continued
Hi William, it looks as if you’ve been inspired by Oli’s 12 part saga published last year. You have made a great start by introducing a character with a problem and a cliff-hanger ending. Make sure you check common spellings e.g. called, favourite, their for belonging (not there for direction) and remember to use an apostrophe for belonging e.g. Deice’s and for contractions e.g. He’s. I’m really looking forward to Part 2!
2 house points
Mrs Addleton