The dancing clown

Posted by CharlieG in 100wc | 2 Comments

It had been raining all morning , it still is . about an hour ago I sent my brother Austin out with a paper boat but he hasn’t  come back I would go out and look for him but it’s raining and I’m not that well ” ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ” faint scream . wait I just n n n  no Gorgy …

2 responses to “The dancing clown”

  1. Mrs Bowden says:

    Hi Charlie,
    You had a great start to your piece of writing, you managed to get suspense into just a couple of lines, both with the scream and the mystery of what has happened to Austin. Unfortunately it tailed off a bit at the end and I wasn’t sure what was going on. I shall certainly be looking out for your blogs in the future. Well done!

  2. Mrs Addleton says:

    Charlie, you evoked a real atmosphere with your opening line, I thought it was a brilliant way to start. You made such an evocative start to the story as we are left wondering if poor Austin went out to play with the boat or to sail in it! I think the end of playtime made you rush the end of what could be a brilliant piece so please return to it if you have time!
    2 house points
    Mrs Addleton

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