once apon a time there was a snake named Sam the snake he was a blue snake with pointy and fierce red spikes. sam is a very bad snake he likes stealing sweets from shops.before the clock struck midnight the snake cycled around the whole town on a bike and stole every sweet in sight from the easland sweet shop he was very selfish and he never thought of anyone but himself just you think of all the children that turn up and see not a sweet in there tiny little eye they would be so so so so devestated
bad sam
Posted by in 100wc
5 Comments
|
Hello,
I love the image of a snake curled around a bike cycling around town , I am dead scared of snakes but somehow this image made me think the snake was just greedy rather than scary.
Good use of vocabulary, I particularly identify with the devastated children.
I hate snakes , but love sweets, so your character Sam would be a nightmare for me. I really enjoyed reading your story.
Carol
Team100WC
England
Hi Summer,
That’s a great use of the adjectives, ‘pointy and fierce red’, also I love the idea of Sam the snake cycling around the town, it creates a fun image.
Miss Nicholas
This is a really interesting piece of writing and I enjoyed reading about what Sam got up to in the middle of the night. To make your writing even more amazing make sure to check you have put in your capital letters at the beginning of sentences. You had a clear description of what Sam looked like and what his personality was like as character.
Hello Summer,
Sam sounds like quite a greedy, selfish character. I love the way you describe his spikes. What a clever idea to use the words ‘before’ and ‘clock’ the way you did. Two things could make your blog even better: keep the blog in past tense all the way through and make sure you use capital letters to start new sentences. Congratulations for being the first blogger for Week 17. If you visit http://www.100wc.net and click on ‘continue reading’ you will find your blog – you are the second entry! Now you can have fun reading and commenting on everyone else’s.
4 house points
Mrs Addleton