in the beginning,in year 4 my hand got slammed in the door and I went to a&e . my hand was swirling up and I had to have a sling on my hand.
In year 5 my head got slammed into a chair and my eye was swurl up it hurt very much .
in year 6 my hand got slammed into the doorand my nail fell off at my house and it hurt {it was by me} I went to a&e with my mum and my granddad .they put 2 injections in my hand and pushed it back in to were it should be
END
Crikey Charlie – I hope your accident days are over. I like the way you started a new paragraph for each school year.
hi,thanks for reading my blog I know I am clumsy but it was only me that went to a&e
Sounds like the start of an interesting poem – “But it was only me
Who went to a & e”!
A very traumatic tale which suggests you are either accident prone or simply unlucky. Do consider capital letters when using initials in your writing. The use of additional verbs and adjectives rather than repeating ‘slammed’ and ‘swirl’ would have improved your story for the reader. Nevertheless, it was still a very interesting piece. Well done Charlie!
good blog
Charlie,
Your blog cleverly incorporates both this weeks and last weeks prompt. Having read your blog, I dread to imagine what might happen to you in Year 7 however many people believe things go in threes so hopefully you have had all your bad luck now. Don’t forget to use capital letters at the start of sentences – the blog will not autocorrect like word does! Did you really have the nail pushed back in? It sounds like it was a really traumatic experience. Using the verb to swell: your hand was swelling up; your eye swelled up; it was swollen.
2 house points
Mrs Addleton