We were on the boat when… CRASH!! We were tumbling into the freezing, mucky ocean. We didn’t know what was happening I just grabbed hold of Molly (my gorgeous Dalmatian) and held my breath.
When I awoke I was still with Molly on an island; I was terrified. We started to explore because we needed food, when we came across an amber tiger with black stripes.
“Hi I’m Tilly the Tiger, I will eat you up…” she scowled. Molly and I started running in the opposite direction but the tiger was blocking our escape! Luckily I escaped, but that was the last I saw of Molly.
Hi Eleanor,
Fossa class have read your blog. This is what we think:
We were sad when we thought the dog had been eaten. We like that we don’t know for sure what’s happened to the dog. There seemed to be a sense of danger which we enjoyed! It was left on a good cliff-hanger.
We would like to have a little more detail (but we know you can only use around 100 words). We look forward to a part 2- hopefully!
A very well written piece, Eleanor. Good use of words and set out so that it adds to the action, which we feel part of and made us sad that Molly didn’t get away. Keep writing it’s good to read.
Hi Eleanor
I am 9 and you have done a fantastic job at your blog well done
Will
A truly amazing piece, well done Eleanor. I thought your sentences were extremely well constructed and I was impressed by your clever use of punctuation. What a sad but intriguing twist that concludes your tale. Again well done!
Gosh Eleanor. I really enjoyed your blog. Your wonderful writing was really well organised and I like the ending which leaves Molly’s fate to the reader’s imagination. I like Mrs Dibben’s idea – spots and stripes go really well together.
Oh my goodness Eleanor, you have blown me away with this blog! Your idea of the tiger being discovered on an island, rather than in a zoo which has been the most common theme, was really original. Your clever use of punctuation makes the story flow and easy to read. Lots of lovely descriptive language meant that I had a wonderful, clear picture of their phlight and the ending was a brilliant, albeit devastating punchline.
I will be so excited to read more blogs from you – a big well done!
Mrs Addleton
3 house points
Welcome to blogging Eleanor. This is such a well structured blog, beautifully written and organised. You clearly portray the scene and characters.
I really hope your gorgeous Dalmatian befriends Tilly and does not get eaten.