The great escape

Posted by George B in 100wc | 9 Comments

I was once walking through a zoo and then I heard a announcement over the speaker “a tiger has escaped, please report to the cafeteria for lockdown, so I ran as fast as I could towards the exit, when I stopped for a breather, I was in the aquatic area. I looked into¬†a fish tank and saw a black and orange paw scooping up an unlucky white fish. it was above me. above the tunnel that I was in. I ran. towards the exit but the tiger was blocking our escape I found an air pistol, so I shot the roof , the tiger fled into a corner. when I got to the exit of the zoo I noticed the animal control.

9 responses to “The great escape”

  1. Brian says:

    Well written, George. Lots of good descriptions so we can imagine really being in that zoo. Lovely phrase “an unlucky white fish” makes us feel sorry for it and involves us more in the story. Exciting. You must write more.

  2. Lisa says:

    I really enjoyed this story George.
    I particularly liked the tiger scooping his paw into the fish tank.
    Very exciting and great use of words.

  3. Joseph says:

    An amazing paragraph what an amazing job keep blogging .

  4. William says:

    To George
    I am 9 almost 10. You did a really good job on your blog well done

  5. Zuhal Omar says:

    A truly exciting story George. It was very descriptive and I loved it. Some of your sentences were perhaps a little too long and the absence or misplacing of commas tended to spoil the flow. I note Mrs Addleton’s comment that she always enjoys your blogs and I can see why. Well done!

  6. Mrs Addleton says:

    Oh my goodness George, I love your blogs, they are always so exciting. The bit I absolutely love about this one is the orange and black paw scooping out that unlucky fish. You didn’t tell us the animal was a tiger but gave us clues which is what all the best authors do so well.
    Love it, love it, love it!
    Mrs Addleton
    2 house points

  7. Kate says:

    Gosh George – what a fabulous blog. Those short, sharp sentences in the middle and all that descriptive language made it a pleasure to read and imagine.

  8. Mrs Dibben says:

    Wow George this is a full on action packed blog. Beautifully crafted into a complete 100 words I am really pleased you only scared the tiger with the pistol.

    I still think you might want to read through your blog and check your punctuation.
    Think this is by far the best one you have written.

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