“AHHHHHH THERES A SPIKEY THING!!!!!!”screamed Abby. “its a hedgehog Abby JEEZ “Atlanta rolled her eyes. ” I’m getting out of here”.so off Atlanta went to the fire exit . But no one could escape Mr Mack’s library once the started playing. They were the chosen ones. “THE TIGER WAS BLOCKING OUR ESCAPE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”Atlanta shouted. “first of all it’s the tiger is blocking our escape and its a HEDGEHOG . who’s the stupid one now!” Abby sighed .
“hello children welcome to my library, where you are in a competition to win a job here in this library” said a hologram of Mr Mack…..”BEGIN”
We all read your blog Atlanta and loved it!
We loved the original idea of being stuck in a ‘nightmarish’ job interview. We also liked the comedy of your character thinking the tiger was a hedgehog! It was left on a great cliff-hanger we would love to see a part 2!
We agree with the other comments; it’s important to read through your work looking for punctuation and grammar mistakes.
Very original ideas that make us think which way the story will go next. Using the large letters and punctuation marks makes it really dramatic and exciting. Well done.
Hi Atlanta
There’s certainly a lot going on here. From the animals in the library, being the chosen ones and the hologram of Mr Mack, you have so many original ideas.
Miss T team 100wc
Hampshire, England
I marveled at the idea for your story, it was truly intriguing! Do try to read through your work before publishing it because that will help you spot grammatical mistakes and identify areas where the reader might be confused.
Nevertheless, a great story well done Atlanta.
Atlanta, I really loved your blog. Such an interesting way of including the prompt. I always thought working in a library would be a lovely, quiet and calm profession but Mr Mack obviously has other ideas!
Wow Atlanta, what an intriguing story – I wanted to read more! It reminds me of the jumanji film where people get stuck in a game with exotic animals, except Abby and Atlanta are stuck in a nightmarish job interview. I love the way you paint the tone of voice the girls are talking in by describing their eyes rolling or sighing. Don’t forget to double check you have capital letters at the start of every sentence next time.
This is a fantastic first blog from you Atlanta, I hope we get a chance to see many more blogs from you.
Mrs Addleton
3 house points
Hello Atlanta,
Really great to read your first blog. A very original take on the prompt.
Being the ‘the chosen ones’ sounds scary.
You might want to read through your writing and check capital letters.