This is the story about Fubbo the Footballer, a Goal – Scorer King! After the Match today, he scored 2 goals! As a reward, his family went to the zoo! Fubbo was not exited, much but if he could see the lizards, he will be SO happy! When Fubbo saw the tigers, he wasn’t happy at all because he saw a little hole but then… the tiger got out its cage and it was blocking their escape ” THE TIGER IS BLOCKING OUR ESCAPE!” Fubbo said, he jumped over the tiger… Sorry! blogs over better luck next time! Hope you like my blog!
Fubbo the Footballer
Posted by in 100wc
4 Comments
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Hello Joseph,
An interesting story. The short description of Fubbo in your opening sentence whetted my appetite for more information about your character but sadly that was not forthcoming! Do read through your work before publishing because by doing so, you will spot errors and have time to correct them e.g. your story suggests Fubbo scored his goals “after the match” , was that intentional?
I hope my comments help and thank you for posting a nice read.
Hi Joe. I love your description of Fubbo – “the Goal-Scorer King”! I hope those goals he scored counted even though he scored them after the match. He was very brave to jump over the tiger and risk losing one of those goal scoring feet.
Hello Joe, I would love to find out more about Fubbo’s interest in lizards. I like the way you set the scene with Fubbo being rewarded by a trip to the zoo. You have done well to use a range of punctuation including inverted commas for direct speech. Remember to use the prompt exactly as it is printed!
Well done
Mrs Addleton
2 house points
Hello ,Joe
This made me laugh, just as I was getting into the story-‘Sorry,blog over’.
Be careful to avoid overuse of!.