On Saturday there was a ghost sighting they thought they were nice but… the next day someone went missing.Someone else went missing the other day until loads of people went missing, the whole town was confused.One person called Jake, who was an investigator, was the only one who actually cared about it.He’d knew it had been the ghosts so he looked all over town he couldn’t see anything suspicious he didn’t know what to do so he turned into a ghost by taking a potion and he met the ghosts they showed were the people were and he said that he was burrowing them but he took them back.
Well done Josh! I’m really impressed with your short story and I’m really pleased that Jake, the investigator, cared enough to help them. I think it was really brave to actually turn into ghost. I hope his potion meant he could turn back into a human again too.
Well done ✔.I think you have managed to make an image in my mind about what has
happened in the blog. You have cleverly created a photo inside a blog which is very good .
When you wrote “he turned into a ghost ” before you wrote the word “by”you should of done ✔ a full-stop.
I really like the way that you used an ellipsis when you used a moment that we did not know what happened next.
I hope you can write another blog so that I can leave another comment☺
William
WOW Josh you really have been working hard on your blogs at home. You have used last weeks, 100wc, ghostly picture to give you the inspiration for this one. What a clever idea to imagine that the ghostly shoppers are causing the disappearance of the real people of the town. I am really impressed that you managed to get the complicated plot, of how Jake rescued the victims, so concisely in 100 words! You also made fabulous use of commas to insert extra information when you told us that Jake was an investigator. I suggest you read the last sentence again and see if you could break it up or use punctuation as effectively here so that this sentence is not too long. Check the dictionary for the word ‘burrowing’; I think perhaps you meant borrowing
3 house points
Mrs Addleton