Bank robbery

Posted by Josh McK in 100wc | Tagged | 6 Comments

There are ghosts going shopping next to the $$$ bank at midnight I smashed the top window and jumped in.I ran to the big vault and put C4 on in…3….2…..1….. Bang out flew the vault door at me.Luckily my fast reflections helped me dodge the door I filled my bag to the rim with money.As I ran out police were chasing me I jumped in the getaway car and zoomed off police cars were chasing us but we were just faster than them.Finally we escaped we got home and celabrated with a big dinner and beer while were looking at our loot, but where would we hide it all?

6 responses to “Bank robbery”

  1. zuhal Omar says:

    An exciting piece with lots of suspense. Well done Josh. It is great to read submissions by writers in England , congratulations from South Carolina USA.

  2. Avril says:

    Hi Josh. Well done. It sounds like you’ve put a lot of work into your challenge. However, if you have a read over it, you might see where you omitted some punctuation. However, I really liked the part where they celebrated with dinner and beer! It made me smile.

  3. Kate Wilson says:

    Wow Josh! I really enjoyed reading your exciting blog post. I think my favourite part is the countdown and then the explosion!

  4. Mrs Skinner says:

    This is a real adventure Josh!
    I was wondering if the thieves stole more than they had planned which gave them a problem. Where would you hide a large amount of cash?

    Have a ‘mumble’ read through your writing because I think it could be made even better with some punctuation.

    Well done for sharing your work on 100wc

  5. william says:

    Well done I really liked all of your blog. I think that you used good vocabulary especially when you used the word loot. When you used the word reflections I think you must of meant reflexes or reactions.
    Are you going to enter next week because if you do I will definitely read it and leave a comment.

    From William

  6. Mrs Addleton says:

    Hi Josh,

    You have cleverly combined last weeks ghostly prompt with this weeks mysterious prompt. Congratulations on publishing your first ever blog and your first entry on the 100wc! I know you spent a lot of time deciding what it was that you had to ‘hide’, so perhaps now you might enjoy reading some of the ideas that other children across the world had at http://www.100wc.net.

    I really enjoyed the tension you effectively built up with your count down to the explosion and how you described your bag being full to the rim with money. You made use of a comma before inserting the prompt but there might have been other places in your blog where commas would be useful such as after fronted adverbials like ‘Luckily’ or ‘Finally’.

    Josh, I can’t wait to see more 100wc blogs from you in the future. Well done!

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